“Well, well, well, look who’s got a screenplay up their sleeve! I dabble in the delightful world of screenwriting because I have an affinity for the not-so-woke, preferring to whip up some unapologetically grounded stories that tiptoe (or stomp) through the real world—and fantasy lands that dare to reflect the nitty-gritty of life.

Naturally, I’m all about creators like Lawrence Fox and J.K. Rowling, and their refreshingly candid work that speaks to my soul. I’ve got this screenplay that would fit Fox like a glove. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll send it his way and he’ll just happen to know a film production company that’s blissfully woke-free. A long shot? Maybe. But stranger things have happened!”